Financial Planning Month Meets Domestic Violence Awareness Month: Why the Connection Matters
When people think of domestic violence, they often picture physical harm. But abuse can take many forms. Some are harder to see, and harder to name. One of the most common and least recognized is financial abuse.
This is when money becomes a tool of power and control instead of a source of security. The consequences can be deeply isolating and often continue long after the relationship ends.
This message is offered with care and compassion, in recognition of Financial Planning Month and Domestic Violence Awareness Month, and in honor of the role that financial education can play in creating safety, independence, and lasting stability.
While this article centers on women’s experiences, financial abuse can affect people of any gender, in any type of relationship.
Understanding Financial Abuse
According to the National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV), financial abuse is present in 99% of domestic violence cases. It is rarely the only form of abuse. More often, it appears alongside emotional, psychological, and physical control.
The average survivor tries to leave seven times before they are able to stay away for good. That statistic speaks to how complex and human these situations are. Safety concerns, fear of retaliation, parenting responsibilities, family and cultural pressure, housing instability, and love for the partner all play a role.
Amid those challenges, financial barriers are often the hardest to overcome. Without access to money, credit, or the ability to earn income, many people feel trapped. Financial dependence is a major reason people stay in unsafe situations, even when they want to leave.
Recognizing Patterns of Control
One widely used tool for understanding the dynamics of abuse is the Power and Control Wheel, developed by the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project. This model outlines how abusive behavior often includes multiple forms of control, not just physical violence, but also emotional, psychological, and financial manipulation.
Financial or economic abuse is one of the key tactics represented in the wheel. It often shows up alongside other controlling behaviors that limit a person’s freedom, confidence, and ability to make decisions for themselves.
This framework can be especially helpful for those who feel something is wrong in their relationship but can’t quite name it. Seeing these patterns clearly can provide validation and support the decision to seek help.
View the Power and Control Wheel at https://www.theduluthmodel.org/wp-content/uploads/2017/03/PowerandControl.pdf
What Financial Abuse Can Look Like
Financial abuse can take many forms. Some of the most common include:
Controlling financial information
One partner keeps all financial details private, leaving the other in the dark about bills, income, and accounts. This is sometimes framed as “I’m better with money, so I’ll handle it,” but over time it can erode trust, diminish confidence, and create financial dependency.
Hiding income, debt, or assets
Concealing money, secretly accumulating debt, or misrepresenting financial decisions can leave one partner carrying the burden for choices they didn’t make.Restricting access to money
This might involve requiring permission to spend, preventing a partner from opening an account in their own name, or blocking access to shared funds. The result can be dependency and a lack of financial choice.Closely Monitoring or criticizing spending
This goes beyond healthy budgeting. It can involve demanding receipts, criticizing purchases, or enforcing rigid rules that were not mutually agreed upon. Over time, it can create fear and anxiety around everyday financial choices.Limiting earning power
Discouraging work, denying childcare support, or pressuring someone to leave their job can directly undercut their ability to earn, grow, and plan for the future.
If you recognize yourself in any of these patterns, it is not a reflection of your capabilities or worth. It is a sign that someone else is using financial control in ways that are unhealthy and harmful.
The Lingering Effects of Financial Abuse
Financial abuse doesn’t end when the relationship does. Survivors often face serious challenges long after they’ve left, including:
Rebuilding credit damaged by debt taken out in their name
Rebuilding a career after being limited in work or educational opportunities
Regaining confidence after years of exclusion from financial decision-making
These invisible costs can make healing more difficult, but not impossible. With support and education, it is absolutely possible to rebuild—both financially and emotionally.
Why Financial Literacy Matters
Financial knowledge doesn’t prevent abuse. But it does provide something incredibly powerful: options. Understanding your finances gives you the ability to act, plan, and pivot, whether you're facing crisis or simply ready to reclaim control.
Financial independence isn’t just about having money. It’s about being able to make choices. It’s about knowing you can create security, for yourself and your family, even in the face of uncertainty.
When you:
Open and manage accounts in your own name
Understand your income, debt, and credit
Build savings that only you can access
Maintain your education and work experience
Plan for the future on your own terms
You strengthen your position. You gain clarity. And with that clarity comes confidence.
Steps to Build Financial Confidence
If you’re starting over or reassessing your financial life, here are some practical, protective steps:
Get clear on the numbers
Understanding your income, expenses, assets, and debts might feel overwhelming, especially if you’ve been excluded from financial conversations. But clarity is the foundation for change.Establish individual accounts
Even if you share finances, having at least one checking or savings account in your name gives you access and autonomy.Build credit in your name
A strong credit profile increases your options for housing, loans, and financial tools, especially during a transition.Create an emergency fund
Even a small amount of savings can make a difference. What matters most is ensuring you have access to it when you need it.Invest in yourself
Your ability to earn and grow is one of your greatest financial assets. Protect it by staying connected to work, professional development, or education.Seek guidance you can trust
A qualified financial advisor, attorney, or therapist can offer clear-eyed, compassionate support through complex decisions.
The Role of Financial Planning
At Innermost Wealth Management, we take a psychology-informed approach to financial planning. We understand that money is never just about numbers. It is about security, self-worth, and the ability to shape your future.
For women navigating challenging relationships, high-stakes transitions, or long-overdue changes, financial planning can be one of the most empowering investments you make in yourself.
Support and Resources
If you or someone you know is experiencing domestic violence, support is available:
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) or thehotline.org
National Network to End Domestic Violence (NNEDV): nnedv.org
WomensLaw: Free legal information and support for survivors of domestic violence WomensLaw.org
Local domestic violence shelters and advocacy organizations: Many communities offer confidential, trauma-informed support at no cost
Your local library: Libraries often offer access to free audiobooks, financial education resources, internet access, and private spaces to work or research. Many even provide workshops or referrals to local social services.
Final Thoughts
As we observe Financial Planning Month and Domestic Violence Awareness Month, this is a moment to reflect on the connection between financial education and personal freedom.
If you’re in a difficult situation, know this: even one small financial step—opening an account, reviewing your credit, or setting aside savings—can be an act of courage and self-trust. You deserve safety, clarity, and the ability to make decisions without fear.
Financial knowledge won’t erase past harm. But it can light the path toward healing, independence, and a future defined by your own values.
If this topic resonates with you, know that you’re not alone. When you’re ready, we’re here to support you with care and discretion. At Innermost Wealth, we help women take thoughtful, informed steps toward financial security and self-trust.
Explore what psychology-informed financial planning could look like for you by scheduling a free confidential conversation.
Disclosure: This content is for informational and educational purposes only. It is not intended to provide, and should not be relied upon for, personalized investment advice, legal advice, tax advice, or mental health counseling. The information presented does not take into account the specific objectives, circumstances, or needs of any individual.
If you are experiencing domestic violence, financial abuse, or other forms of crisis, please seek help from the support organizations listed above or consult with qualified professionals trained to assist in such situations. Kimberly is not a licensed mental health professional and does not provide clinical mental health services.
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